Here’s the craic: we can do this the easy way, or we can do it the hard way. And right now, we’re doing a lot of this it the easy way…
And when I say the easy way, I am talking about fascism.
Authoritarianism is easy. Especially for the authoritarian. It’s all about control, discipline, and unquestioning obedience: you can dictate what’s right and wrong, and you can expect compliance without having to explain yourself. Easy peasy!
And if you can do that is a really sophisticated way, then you’re on to something that goes beyond keeping the children under control at home to keeping entire countries in check…
Like what’s going on in the US. They’re perfected a unique form of authoritarianism hidden behind a façade of democracy, where power dynamics shift between the Democratic and Republican parties but change of any substance rarely follows.
By stoking culture wars that keep citizens polarised on issues like gender, race, and identity, the government creates the sense of an ongoing ideological battle while distracting from deeper, systemic issues that most likely could be resolved by spending the people’s money on things that benefit the people.
Meanwhile, corporations and elite interests maintain a firm grip on political outcomes, reinforcing economic inequality and limiting true representation.
This political theatre gives the appearance of choice and freedom, but beneath it, a form of soft fascism persists, where the powerful stay in power, the status quo remains unchallenged, and real societal progress is repeatedly and consistently stalled.
If you’re a newbie to being an absolute tyrant at home, your first attempts at forcefully imposing control will be met with looks of utter fear. You may make them cry and you’ll likely hurt their little hearts. But stick with it – you’ll soon toughen up. And so will they.
You’ll quickly gain in convenience and control. But you’ll sacrifice trust, connection, growth, and respect.
The hard way, on the other hand, is the way of democracy, empathy, and equity.
It’s about listening, understanding and fostering an environment where children are encouraged to express themselves, ask questions, and learn from their mistakes.
It takes more patience, more vulnerability, and often more time. And can be temper-testingly frustrating. But the trust, understanding and love you’ll create along the way is infinitely worth it.
As a parent, you have the choice every day to be a teacher or a tyrant.
We know that now. And when you know better, you do better. Unlike back in the good old days when many of our own parents did not know any better. Like if you’ve never been on the receiving end of a well yelled “Come here ’til I kill ya!”, did you even have an Irish mother? It’s all said with love and care.
Just recently, I heard a mother threaten her daughter with death because she’d wandered off and could have been abducted! It seemed to me that that lady immediately filled her kid with the fear she had when she couldn’t find her – for her own safety. In future, that kid knows that wandering off means a choice between abduction or death.
My daughter then reminded me that I’d done the same myself on more than one occasion.
And this is why I’m interested in all this – because I know how hard it is. When raising my own children, I strived for a happy home and I couldn’t see how that could be achieved with an authoritarian approach. Kids also need to learn for themselves and that requires a patient parent. And patience isn’t something that’s in abundant supply in the rough and tumble of everyday life.
And I’m really interested in how this all plays out in the world.
In societies, as in families, we’re seeing increasingly oppressive policies implemented by regimes that have run out of ideas and money. Well, there is money because the rich are getting richer.
According to chnge, the total net worth of of 643 billionaires in the US alone has climbed from $2.9 trillion to $3.5 trillion since the start of the pandemic in 2020.
And, according to Forbes, total US billionaire wealth increased twice as much as the Federal Government paid out in one-time stimulus checks to 150 million Americans.
Anyway, instead we get fascism. Erosion of civil rights and liberties. Crumbling healthcare and education systems. A media owned and operated by the billionaire class. Governments that rule in the interests of big business (pharma, ‘defence’, energy, etc). And a political landscape that is essentially only a culture war circus designed to divide.
It’s here and you’re having it. Very few questions asked.
5 Lazy Parenting Tactics That Fascists Love
From a government warning civilians to leave because they’re about to bomb the place, to dictating daily lives with ever more robust “laws,” there are striking parallels between lazy parenting and the top-down authoritarianism of fascist governance.
“Do as I say, not as I do”
I’ve used this one, as I’m sure have you. Imposing rules on children without holding ourselves accountable to similar standards is a delicious idea that must be strenuously resisted.
Reinforcing the idea that power, not principle, dictates right and wrong, mirrors authoritarian regimes that enforce harsh rules for their people while ignoring these rules themselves.
“It’s For Your Own Good”
Another lazy parenting go-to that serves to mask authoritarian motives under the guise of concern.
Many fascist governments and colonial regimes justified their control as being “for the good” of the people, often claiming their control brought civilization, safety, or order while undermining the autonomy and culture of those under their rule.
Just recently, with talk of Commonwealth countries asking for reparations, we’ve actually had British government ministers say that reparations will never happen and in fact those countries should be thankful for being colonised.
“Because I Said So”
When explanations are deemed unnecessary because authority alone should command obedience, fascist governments enforce their rules without transparency or accountability, forcing people to comply without offering rationale or room for dissent.
Colonial governments also operated under this philosophy, assuming absolute power over indigenous people without respect for cultural autonomy or dialogue.
We can also get into gaslighting – still an effective form of governance in the home and abroad. Telling a child their feelings are invalid or “all in their head” is a classic move in lazy parenting. Fascist leaders and colonial governments use similar tactics by denying the validity of their citizens’ or subjects’ experiences.
As above, many settler colonial regimes continue to deny indigenous suffering, claiming they improved the lives of the people they were displacing. By dismissing reality, both lazy parents and oppressive leaders make it nearly impossible for those they control to trust themselves or their surroundings.
AYE YER DA
The Fathers of Fascism
Infamous for their top-down, ruthless leadership styles, these guys were allowed to be the patriarchs of entire civilisations. But what kind of parents would they have been?
Adolf Hitler
Just be thankful your da only ever policed the immersion heater. Hitler’s relentless drive for conformity and his authoritarian demands for loyalty, obedience, and order would have made for a home where complete obedience ruled from morning to night. No question of individual thought.
Benito Mussolini
Mussolini’s obsession with dominance and his harsh, impulsive leadership style would have made him the ultimate authoritarian parent. Quick to punish and disdainful of compassion, he’d have been big on obedience and control. No messing about at bedtime on his watch.
Francisco Franco
Franco, known for his harsh treatment of dissenters and preference for imposing his values onto Spain, would likely have created a stifling home environment, enforcing rigid ideas and values without allowing for emotional expression or questioning.
Joseph Stalin
Stalin’s rule is infamous for brutal purges fuelled by paranoia, reflecting a level of control that would have made parenting nightmarishly oppressive. Stalin’s insistence on loyalty and surveillance of his closest allies implies he would demand perfection from a child, punishing even minor mistakes severely.
Augusto Pinochet
Supported and enabled by the US, the Chilean dictator used fear, censorship, and surveillance to maintain control, creating a pervasive climate of distrust. As a parent, he likely would have kept a close watch on his children’s every move, instilling a deep sense of fear rather than trust and openness.
Benjamin Netanyahu
Financed by the US, Netanyahu’s political strategy has often involved a “divide and control” approach, fostering a climate of fear to maintain authority, particularly over contentious areas like the West Bank and Gaza.
If he was yer da, he’d have a field day creating unnecessary rivalry, distrust and suspicion among you all to maintain his influence. He’d have no truck with compromise, nor empathy for opposing viewpoints, creating a rigid and high-stress household dynamic (!) focused more on control than support or mutual understanding.
Donald Trump
The last guy, a friend of that last guy, Trump’s leadership style was characterised by a demand for loyalty, disregard for dissent, and a tendency to pit people against each other to maintain control. His emphasis on “winning” above all else suggests a parenting style that values outward success and validation over emotional connection or growth, potentially creating an environment where children feel pressured to please rather than supported to be themselves.
Why Lazy Parenting Is No Laughing Matter
Though it might appear innocuous, the manipulation, control and emotional neglect that characterise easy (lazy) parenting have severe impact on a child’s development.
When you look at how the same systems work at scale in societies, you can begin to see how we need to shift our focus away from control and toward more democratic, empathetic ways of raising future generations.
So, the next time you hear “I’ll give you something to cry about,” and especially if you’re the person saying it, remember: there’s a better way to parent—and to govern.
By recognising the signs of authoritarianism in even the smallest forms, we can move towards a more open, understanding, and just world.
One family at a time.
Domesticky 
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