Domesticky

Absolutely everything. If you’re in the right business.

War is a catastrophe, a human tragedy, a horror show with no intermission. It decimates lives, crushes cities, and leaves deep, soul-scorching wounds in the psyches of those who endure it. But let’s be real: war isn’t just destruction.

It’s an industry. It’s a machine. It’s a well-oiled, many-tentacled beast that feeds entire economies, keeps certain people very rich, and ensures that the world’s power structures remain as rigid as the spine of an old colonel at a military parade.

So, if you’ve ever asked yourself, who actually benefits from war?—allow me to present the most cynical list in history:

1. Weapons Manufacturers

The real winners of every war. You know Lockheed Martin, BAE Systems, Raytheon, and all their little friends? They see war as a “business opportunity.” Every bullet fired, every missile launched, every drone strike is another line item on an invoice. War is the gift that keeps on giving.

2. Private Military Contractors

War isn’t just for national armies anymore! Why train your own soldiers when you can outsource the bloodshed to companies like Blackwater (now conveniently rebranded as Academi)? They get to do all the fun war crimes without the pesky international oversight.

3. Politicians Who Need a Distraction

Nothing rallies a nation quite like an enemy. When approval ratings are tanking, when scandal is knocking at the door—why not start a war? Nothing boosts a leader’s ratings like sending other people’s children to fight for “freedom.”

4. Oil Companies

Why do we always seem to end up fighting in places filled with oil? A mystery for the ages. Except it’s not. The fossil fuel industry has a long history of accidental involvement in global conflicts, and somehow, they always end up drilling in war-torn nations. Coincidence? Sure.

5. The Media (When It Suits Them)

Conflict sells. The 24-hour news cycle thrives on war—there’s always breaking news, explosions, footage of people running from airstrikes, and dramatic soundtracks. Ratings spike. Newspapers sell. And when it’s all over? The memoirs, documentaries, and “exclusive behind-the-scenes” exposés roll in.

6. The Arms Dealers Who Sell to Both Sides

Who needs loyalty when there’s money to be made? Arms dealers love a prolonged conflict, where both sides need more guns, more ammunition, more bombs—preferably indefinitely. And if you get caught selling to both sides? A slap on the wrist, at best.

7. Think Tanks & War Strategists

The people who sit in air-conditioned offices, sipping lattes and debating “theoretical” war outcomes while young soldiers die in deserts and jungles. They publish reports with fancy titles, attend international conferences, and nod solemnly as they plan other people’s deaths.

8. The Defence Budget Lovers

Want more money for healthcare or education? Tough luck. The defence budget must be massive at all times—just in case we need to bomb a wedding or two in the Middle East.

9. The Reconstruction Industry

You’d think rebuilding bombed-out cities would be a humanitarian effort. Nope! Contracts are handed to the highest bidder (or whoever is best friends with the right politician). They overcharge for subpar work, take forever, and conveniently ensure that local economies never quite recover.

10. Mercenaries & Foreign Fighters

Not everyone fights for a flag—some fight for cold, hard cash. War attracts mercenaries like a pub attracts drunk lads at closing time. They don’t care who wins as long as the money flows.

11. The War Tourism Industry

For those with a morbid curiosity, there’s a booming trade in war tourism. People literally pay to visit active war zones, take pictures next to destroyed tanks, and tell their friends they “really felt the conflict.”

12. Military-Industrial Lobbyists

Their job is to make sure the war machine never stops. They whisper sweet nothings into politicians’ ears, ensuring more funding for the military, more foreign interventions, and endless justification for war.

13. Propaganda Specialists

No war would be possible without a well-crafted narrative. That’s where the PR wizards come in, spinning stories of heroism, righteousness, and “necessary interventions” while civilians get turned to dust.

14. The Space Industry

You think all those satellites and high-tech military drones come cheap? War pushes space and tech development, so at least we get better GPS out of all this carnage.

15. Military Recruitment Agencies

Got a recession? Not enough jobs? Perfect! The army is always hiring. Promises of adventure, purpose, and camaraderie make it easy to convince young, economically disadvantaged people that war is their best shot at a future.

16. Cybersecurity Firms

With modern wars being fought as much online as on the battlefield, cybersecurity companies see dollar signs every time a hacker group takes down a government system.

17. The Surveillance Industry

War justifies mass surveillance. “We need to spy on everyone to keep you safe.” Translation: More contracts for companies that sell tracking software, spyware, and data-harvesting tech.

18. The Pharmaceutical Industry (For PTSD Meds)

War might be over for the soldiers, but PTSD lasts a lifetime. That means a steady demand for antidepressants, anti-anxiety meds, and painkillers. Another war dividend.

19. AI & Robotics Developers

Why risk human lives when we can have killer robots? AI-driven warfare is already here, and companies that develop autonomous drones and robotic soldiers are making bank.

20. Undertakers & Coffin Makers

Someone has to deal with all the bodies.

---

And Who Pays the Price?

Ordinary people. Families. Soldiers. Refugees. The ones who don’t make money from war but lose their homes, their lives, and their loved ones to it.

Because at the end of the day, war is a machine that never stops running. It’s too profitable, too useful, too deeply woven into the global economy. The ones who start wars never fight them. The ones who fight wars rarely benefit from them. And the ones who profit? They just move on to the next conflict, the next invasion, the next business opportunity.

So, what is war good for?
Well, if you’re in the right industry… quite a lot.