Domesticky

You’ve heard of Slumdog Millionaire – the story of a penniless underdog triumphing against all odds.

Flip that and you get Ballbag Billionaire, a man who didn’t rise through struggle but inherited wealth from privilege and built a bigger pile through quietly cunning exploitation.

While Slumdog Millionaire celebrates upward mobility, the Ballbag Billionaire revels in the mythical promise of trickle-down economics, deftly converting its hollow rhetoric into his personal cash cow.

You can’t make this shit up. So you’ll see a lot of it is borrowed from real life.

Because in our warped game of modern capitalism, the promise of upward mobility is a myth, and the real power lies with those who already control the system.

Ballbag Billionaire did not invent anything. Nor did he cure any diseases or make the world a better place.

And yet, he became rich beyond imagining.

You might know him by a different name. Elon Musk. Jeff Bezos. Mark Zuckerberg. Bill Gates. And, of course, the walking orange id that is Donald Trump.

He is the ultimate capitalist parasite, a man so rich he could fix global hunger in an afternoon, but instead he leaves a trail of unpaid bills – dodging debts and shirking responsibilities to contractors and vendors – which only underscores his insatiable greed and disregard for the common good.

Trump US rallies leave behind unpaid dues, again and again.

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The Birth of Ballbag Billionaire: A Story of Privilege and Mediocrity

Our hero, Ballbag, was born into immense wealth and entitlement, either through family fortune, lucky timing or the ability to lie with an unshakable confidence.

He did not struggle, he did not rise from nothing, and he certainly did not build anything by himself.

• Elon Musk was born to a family that owned an emerald mine in apartheid South Africa, literally profiting off of an oppressive regime.
• Donald Trump inherited $413 million (adjusted for inflation) from his daddy and still managed to bankrupt casinos, airlines, and steak companies.
• Jeff Bezos was handed a quarter-million-dollar investment from his parents to start Amazon, which he would later turn into a worker-exploiting dystopia.

From day one, Ballbag Billionaire was destined to “succeed”, but only in the way that parasites always find a way to feed.

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Ballbag’s Career: Selling You a Future While Destroying the Present

Ballbag Billionaire didn’t actually invent anything. He bought things, stole ideas, underpaid the real innovators, and then marketed himself as a genius.

• Elon Musk didn’t invent Tesla—he bought the company and fired the actual founders.
• Jeff Bezos didn’t create the concept of online shopping – he just figured out how to make workers suffer the most for it.
• Mark Zuckerberg didn’t revolutionise communication – he just turned human relationships into data he could sell.
• Donald Trump didn’t build anything – he plastered his name on buildings funded by Russian oligarchs.

What Ballbag really mastered was branding. He sold himself as a visionary, a tech genius, a self-made billionaire, despite the overwhelming evidence that he was none of those things.

His real skill? Taking credit for everything, blaming others when things go wrong, and using power to protect himself.

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The Endgame: Taking Everything and Leaving You With Nothing

Ballbag Billionaire does not believe in fixing problems. He believes in profiting from them. And when those problems get too big to ignore, his solution is not to repair the world, but to escape it.

That’s why he’s obsessed with space, bunkers, and AI—not for the betterment of humanity, but as a lifeboat for himself and the ultra-rich.

• Musk wants to live on Mars, because he knows Earth is becoming unlivable (partly thanks to men like him).
• Bezos wants floating space colonies, where the rich can thrive while Earth turns into a burning wasteland.
• Zuckerberg wants a virtual reality Metaverse, where people will be too distracted to realize the billionaires have abandoned them.
• Trump built a golden palace for himself, while encouraging working-class Americans to die defending his fragile ego.

Do you see the pattern?

They do not want to save you. They do not want to fix anything. They are not investing in solutions for everyone—they are building lifeboats for themselves.

Ballbag Billionaire is like a spoiled child throwing a house party, setting the place on fire, and then taking a private helicopter to safety while the rest of us choke on smoke.

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The Great Con: Making You Worship Him While He Robs You Blind

The greatest achievement of Ballbag Billionaire is that people still admire him. Despite the lies, the exploitation, the endless proof of his incompetence, millions of people still see him as a saviour.

• Trump’s fans believe he is a working-class hero, even as he dodges taxes, steals money from his supporters, and literally builds golden toilets.
• Musk’s fanboys worship him as a tech genius, even as he destroys Twitter, spreads conspiracy theories, and fails to deliver on almost every major promise.
• Bezos is seen as a visionary, even though Amazon workers need food stamps while he builds himself a superyacht with a smaller yacht inside it.
• Zuckerberg claims he’s “connecting people,” while actually turning human interaction into an ad-driven hellscape.

Ballbag Billionaire does not deserve your admiration. He is not a genius, he is not self-made, and he is certainly not looking out for you.

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Stop Waiting for Billionaires to Save You—They’re the Ones Destroying Everything

In Ishmael, Daniel Quinn argues that humanity isn’t actually searching for the answer to “how should we live?”

Instead, we are looking for ways to continue living in a broken system without changing it.

That is exactly what Ballbag Billionaire wants.

Instead of addressing the root problems—inequality, overconsumption, environmental collapse—he distracts us with space colonies, AI, and virtual realities. He sells us a dream while ensuring he has a way out.

If humanity wants to survive, we need to stop idolising billionaires. We need to reject the lie that they are anything to be emulated. We need to rebuild our societies, our communities, and our priorities—without them.

Because when the world burns, Ballbag Billionaire won’t be here to help.

He’ll be watching from Mars, sipping champagne, laughing at how easy it was to make you worship him while he ran away with everything.

After all, the guy is a ballbag.